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In this kennel you'll see our most popular cross:
golden retriever with Red Delicious apple.
The apple genes make 'em glossy and calm
and symmetrical. They travel well,
don't jump, don't run around, don't bark.
Frankly, we didn't expect their teeth
to be so soft, but they do just fine on mush.
Handsome, aren't they?
Down that hall
are miniature poodles with parrot genes.
Bright blue with yellow eyes. The night shift
taught this batch to say Help! I'm being held prisoner
in a fortune cookie factory!
It was funny the first hundred times.
This room will be for hamster turtles.
The pet stuff may not change the world,
but we can't do that without income, right?
Now in this paddock we're saving the rhino
by making it woolly again. With vicuna genes,
it's relatively docile, it's fluffy, lots of square footage--
mark my words, rhino fleece will be hot.
And look at those Bambi eyes--who goes on safari
to shoot a cream puff like this?
Most of our projects are in development.
In here we're working with kudzu genes in silkworms
to increase the output and tensile strength,
but so far we've only doubled their appetite.
And the spider-barnacle thing has yielded
intriguing results, but nothing we're ready to publish.
But out here--you should see this field in the evening
when we let the butterflies out.
Looks like ordinary tobacco, doesn't it,
but those leaves are making insulin as we speak.
We also incorporated a jellyfish gene.
That's for the butterflies, which are part slow loris--
that way they can't start hurricanes by fluttering,
or migrate to where the forests used to be.
When the butterflies turned out nocturnal, too,
we figured we'd make the tobacco plants glow in the dark.
At night they give off a pale green light,
and bow their heads, from a bluebell cross I think,
to be pollinated more easily,
and the butterflies walk in slow motion up the stalks.
Their wings open and close every minute or so,
maybe they think they're flying. And the plants
move their leaves a little, too,
as if they were shifting in a summer breeze,
as if there were any more breezes.
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